They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
