are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
