...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
zippers are such a cool invention
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
