Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
