I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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