I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
