i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
