She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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