Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
