We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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