then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he fucked my hip out of place.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
