Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
