I wannas sexs uuuuu
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
