Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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