butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have fence marks all over my body
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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