Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
