It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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