It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
