then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
