AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
