so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
