it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
