i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
