Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
