Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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