Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
