I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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