They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
