he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
