She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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