I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
