nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
