fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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