We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
