And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
