At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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