so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
