i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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