WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
