so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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