Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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