you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
