I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
