i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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