Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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