I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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