he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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