I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
