Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
