batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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