im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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