I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
