She announced her abortion via fbk
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
